We

all stumble through existence sideways I think.

A Year Passes In A Glance, A Moment Lasts A Lifetime

I AM ANGRY. My patience seems to grow shorter in each passing day. My time here seems only a countdown till I leave for Amsterdam. I feel like while trying to find a firmer hold on my faith I'm sliding backwards in my attempts. I feel conviction pushing me to change yet I refuse to budge. I AM SELFISH. My attempts at furthering my education has only yielded mediocre grades and apathy. The things that society has deemed important are the furthest from my mind. I find myself looking down on people I see in public; comparing them to myself and finding self-satisfaction when they don't stack up to my standards. I AM DISGUSTED AT THE PERSON I AM BECOMING. I can't believe that it has been 2 months since my last post. It feels like a year at least. My perception of time has always been skewed. I've always measured time by the events that have transpired.
I am in need of prayer.

In this life the one eyed lead the blind

But the best sighted amongst us can only see as far as their own face

For they cry out this is the dawning of a new era, while the others scream this is truly the end of days

Neither ones words ring false for the ones glass and metal spires never touch the burning ash and hollow husks of the others reality and

the malls are built to echo till the bustling voices in its expanses become one sound of greed and compliance

their walkways act as shoots for the cattle that are distracted by the fluorescent signs that feature half dressed men and women that act as blinders for the slaughterhouses true intentions

We were not meant to be

tied by these fetters

strapped to a machine that

filters our own ambitions

and synthesizes it back to us

in a form it deems acceptable

I've learned never to feel contentment

and it's so hard to be trusting

When we were taught as children to pick up ledgers and spades

to cast stones the size of boulders

and sharpen our teeth to points

Our actions only accumulate to a mark the size of a pin and our earnings have been slave to a thousand before

“tis something, nothing”

Life is not a footrace, nor some mountain to be climbed

Life is an ocean and I come with only a glass