The problem is this, I have nary a clue what to put in them to be honest. How in the world am I supposed to cram a week or three of information into this small space on the internet? Anyway I've decided to plug along even with this seemingly daunting task in front of me. Today was my appointment at the IND(immigration office) for my one year work visa. The directions seemed simple enough but somehow I ended up walking in circles and ten minutes late to a meeting that decided if I get to stay in the Netherlands or not. But by God's good Grace the meeting went smoothly without a hitch. When I arrived at the house I discovered I was late for MTP class. We had a visit from the Scarlet Cord today for the lesson. The Scarlet Cord is an organization that shares the Shelter City hostel building. They are a christian group funded by the government to help prostitutes that want to escape from the business. For over two hours the Scarlet Cord representative explained the realities of human trafficking in the Red Light and also the rest of modern Europe. Thousands of women are exploited and sold as commodities to the highest bidder. These men usually prey on women with insecurities allowing them to be abused and thrown away after they outlive their usefulness. Many of the representatives stories reminded me so strongly of a friend of mine. My head started swimming with past events and it made me question my actions making me wonder if I could have done things differently.

Precious girl please explain to me what you see in him
It seems like such a one way street
He destroys, You rebuild
He takes till you stand with empty hands
Like a rose trying to bloom thats being choked by a self chosen vine
I remember the words you spoke that night
would it have helped If I had yelled, balled my fists, made the choice you didn't dare to make
Past is past and it slips through my grasping fingers like water pouring from a glass
It makes me wonder if a caged bird saw an open window would it even know how to fly

Not Even The Rain Has Such Small Hands.

September in Amsterdam. For the last week the clouds have unleashed buckets of rain sporadically throughout the days. The only pattern you can really follow with the rain is how it seems to strike at the least convenient times causing pub goers and would be dog walkers to dive for cover. Though the calendar states there is well over 15 days left of summer the morning chill argues otherwise. Fall is on the doorstep and there are already whispers of winter as well. The stores are gearing up and stocking for Sinterklass already and it isn't until December 5th. Time seems so much like the rain sometimes. It seems so vast that it cannot be counted but then all of a sudden it fills things very quickly till it overflows.

I'm about to watch my flight leave without me on the 27th of this month. Booking a separate flight was much cheaper than changing my original flight. At this moment I feel no regret and no worry about the money I'm spending. I guess this would seem pretty stupid to many people but if there is some sort of need to worry there are many more pressing issues in my life than things of monetary value.

(Maybe I'll make this into an actual song someday if I learn guitar, not a fan of how I wrote this but it gets my thoughts across)

I keep runnin around the earth expecting it to be flat
But every step I take is a path that ends right back (at the beginning)
Time goes in circles and people follow where it leads
Chasing after sunlight but I hope to say that isn't me
I'm gripped by the sentimental power of memory
The ever darkening of the past
Where the edges begin to soften
is where tomorrow doesn't seem so bad
It's hard to catch the sky when you only have two hands
It's tough to calm the ocean when you're just learning how to swim
How do you gain perspective when the world agrees that their right hand is their left?
Everyone's hoarding for the future and selling off their past
It's finding "ice in the desert"
An ember beneath the waves
Holding a pearl and a seed and calling each the same
Life is full of kings and queens with tin crowns upon their heads
But I'd much rather play the fool in this play instead